Ben (1) Diabetes (nil)

After a recent panic caused by a week long insatiable thirst I have decided that I am not in fact diabetic, just extra thirsty. Its probably the overload of air conditioning that I can't live with or without as things finally warm up over here in crazy town.

When I say warm up, I really mean its a bit warmer than it was in the winter. Most days of course I work so its not a problem, however considering my recent successful foray in to a cricket club, the weather has become that incy wincy bit more important, at least on the weekends. As Thursday rolls around I can't help browsing the BBC website for weather predictions for the coming weekend. I don't know why I bother, this is gloomy England after all.

So in search of better cricket playing weather, the bold decision has been made to sucker up to people with money to fund an all expenses paid trip to the Seychelles, for get this... cricket!! In case you don't realise the Seychelles are those little tiny islands somewhere off the coast of east Africa and the national Seychellean cricket team is apparently in need of opposition! I know I'm up for the job, but we'll have to wait and see how it all pans out.

Meanwhile back in the real world, work, office life, the daily grind, another day another dollar etc. etc. Work on the whole is going pretty well, the supply of free soft drinks in the staff fridge never appears to dwindle, there is always enough bar tab for a third pint at Friday drinks, and now there is almost enough people in the company to necessitate birthday cake every day for everyone. Everthing else that doesn't fit in to the soft drinks, beer, and cake category can be neatly summed up by Dilbert cartoons so there really isn't much else to say.

I hope you are all well, please send food parcels I'm desperate for some L&P, 2 minute noodles, and anything Watties.


Cheerio

Gettin bark ta beer-sics…

Had a few beers in Maida Vale with Mike, Sylvie, Sion and Jane, Sion as it turned out had a few too many, it seems Jane will never live it down.. Poor Sion, all he needs is a good cuddle.

So after a semi-big night out I set off quite hung over towards London Euston station to catch a train to Birmingham. The train is one of those fancy new fangled devices that leans in to the corners, and as a bonus I eventually saw some actual grass, it was green too.

For those that don’t know, Birmingham is the ugliest city in the world, it’s so backward the only colour that has reached this so-called modern world is brown, though to their credit it’s obvious that they have splashed out on the odd different hue of brown. Fortunately as it turns out Andy lives about an hour away from it in Lichfield which turns out to be a nicer area and the houses aren’t all joined together which is a nice change from the rest of England.

So the guys sit down to watch some football or soccer, I take my leave and have a snooze, football as it turns out IS good for something. We start BBQing and drinking the second shittiest beer after Lion Red in the world, yes that’s right Fosters.

Games of football and touch rugby follow, playing rugby and passing backwards turns out to be too much of a mind job for Harv who insists on running over the touch line and expecting people to pass him the ball.

A guy turns up dressed as a punk rocker and I think ‘eh what the hell, this is England after all’ until he says “how come no one else dressed up too?” Turns out that the English have practical jokes too.

Oh yeah there was an Irish guy too.

I was beginning to wonder if Andy had any female friends at all when some eventually turn up though clearly not enough to go around, jokes about going to France to see the Eiffel tower ensue.

We toast marshmallows on the BBQ and rip in to the spirits eventually settling down to bed Andy’s sister, I mean settling down in Andy’s sisters bed – ahh semantics - for a well earned sleep about 3am.

The journey back to London is rather uneventful though it is notable for a win to Sion over Jane at chess. Gratuitous fist pumping resulted.

Well I’m off to Poland tonight and I’m frantically trying to simultaneously learn Polish and read everything there is to know about Poland as I currently know nothing except what there is to know concerning WW2. At this stage pretty sure that mentioning the war or fraternising with Germans and Russians is not a good thing… will keep you updated.

Over and out…

Check out all the photos here:

TENACIOUS Daniel

"Tribute"

Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his Whoopy tail,And the beast was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."

Rock!

Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

Happy birthday Bro.

It’s not how much we’re drinking; it’s how we’re drinking it…

My younger brothers 21st birthday was brought in, much like many “coming of age” parties, with alcohol and lots of it.

While my memory of the whole event is rather blurred; I do remember that there was drinking, singing, drinking, eating and then some more drinking and finally sleep. My recollection of the specifics… are… well… quite literally non-specific.

This is a common problem, and it actually relates to one of the founding intentions of this website. Namely, what do my binge drinking friends and I really get up to?

Fortunately for drinkers everywhere, around the 4th and 5th Centuries B.C. Chinese and Greek philosophers described the basic principles of optics and the camera, while it took a few thousand more years to perfect and implement the process at least drinkers had some hope that someday their drunken antics would be recorded for all time and therefore take their rightful place in history.

Fast forward to 2006: Now every drunken shopping trolley ride, every pass out naked on a toilet seat, and every single cock and balls permanent marker on the forehead would be recorded for all time and placed on the web for all to see.

Thebeereffect however would never quite stoop to that level but it does help to answer my earlier question concerning what my friends and I actually do; the answer, simply put, is that we have a hell of a lot of fun.

Calling all heroes...of Guitar

Calling all heroes...of Guitar

Receiving a text message from Jared on Friday that included the words ‘Guitar Hero’ and ‘beers’ immediately promised a good night. In actuality, my expectations were exceeded in every aspect.

Example: Going to get said beers, Guy and I come back with ‘crate of beers’. The promise of ‘beers’ was exceeded with the acquisition of ‘crate of beers’ thereby exceeding the original expectation. This beereffect can be explained with the following logical formulae:

If (promise) = (beer) what is effect on (expectation) = if (beer X crate)

Daniel and Paul were up from Dunedin due to Daniels 21st birthday party the next day so there were catch-ups to have and high-fives to give.

Some dancing followed.

I’m leaving on a jet plane; don’t know when I'll be back again.

It’s all booked and paid for and everything seems to be falling in to place, I’m not usually this good at organising things. Passports are almost sorted, work has been sorted for some time now, and I’ve even taken advantage of the Kathmandu Easter sales and got myself some luggage.

I leave Wellington at 8.30pm Tuesday 16th of May; it's only (this far) away! So as you can see you have a limited amount of time to get me going away presents. It’s also my birthday on the 13th of May so you have extra incentive to get me something nice and useful!

Like shoes maybe...

Sport was the winner on the day.

Super 14 rugby has really kicked off with three wins on the trot to the mighty Hurricanes; this makes me happy because I put $20 on them to win the competition. Andy thinks the Chiefs will win, however Andy is a very sadly mistaken Englishman. In fact its mistakes like this that cost the English the Empire and Andy is proof that to this day they still haven't learned a thing.

Speaking of the English, they got spanked by Scotland; I imagine this makes Sion very happy.

In cricketing news, the Black Caps also continued their dominating form verses the West Indies, kudos to Nathan Astle for the ton and the catch that will probably be shown on countless replay reels in cricket playing countries. In other news I’m going to Jamaica for the world cup in March 2007, Tony and Guy you better start saving.

Right, I promise that is all I’ll say about sport.

Not to be over-shadowed it was Lauren's birthday, yes THAT Lauren. I was introduced to her father as THAT Ben - both of our reputations apparently precede us. She turned 26 I think, I'm not sure I was rather intoxicated. A load of people went to Cafe Istanbul, the food I got was really quite crap, lets rename it Cafe Load-of-Bull, good, now I feel better. Fortunately there was plenty of alcohol to drink so our spirits were high.

Following dinner we wandered around and eventually found ourselves at Chow, Rebecca and I chatted at length about things I can't remember and Lauren played the drunken birthday girl and got drunk and went home early.

And that’s about it…

The birth of our wonderful nation...

"Waitangi Day commemorates the signing of a treaty at Waitangi on 6 February 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government, represented by Lieutenant-Governor Hobson. The question of what obligations the Treaty of Waitangi placed on each side has been a subject of contention ever since".

"A private member's bill on a New Zealand Day had been introduced by Matiu Rata in 1971 and, during debate on the new bill, Rata, now Minister of Maori Affairs, indicated the government's intentions: The day, he said, was to be neither 'a symbolic nor religious occasion' but a day for each New Zealander to enjoy as they saw fit." - more here.

So how did you celebrate? Guy and I had an adventure and travelled to Porirua (or P-Town - as Guy refers to it) and played a round of pirate themed mini golf. Awesome. Incidentally Guy narrowly lost by one shot. But Waitangi day was... well... the real winner on the day. The sun was shining, the people were smiling and the 14th Festival of the Elements at Te Rauparaha Park featuring art, crafts, song and dance was on. The treaty bus was there too, it was full of knowledgeable signs and as you all know I have a certain fondness for reading such signs, pity there was no where for a "good sit" to contemplate the knowledge I had just gained.

We visited "The Realm Haitaitai" - surely you've heard the annoying jingle. We then had a few more beers in town. It was the perfect way to enjoy the day as it was originally intended - "as [we] saw fit".

Life is transient...

Friday it was Nick's birthday so we had a BBQ and sung Karaoke - well I did, most people just wailed, but then again I was rather intoxicated so I probably just wailed too, but don't tell my ego. I'm a male and male egos are delicate. My version of Adam Sandlers Medium Pace was quite memorable if I do say so myself. Sweet ego is now good, lets carry on.

The parentals are away camping - they're such cliché baby boomers it’s sickening. So inevitably I'm looking after the farm, crap I forgot to feed the hens, no mater I'm sure they'll kill a pigeon or something if they get really hungry.

Saturday (Sevens night) was a huge night on the town, so I hear. I was just not feeling it so despite several invites (including one from my dubious Chinese friends) I stayed home - partly out of fear but mostly cause I just wasn't feeling it ok! Can't believe I keep turning down two women that, dare I say it Dave, are totally spin-able.

I know I'm an idiot but as most of you know the old adage "If you play with fire you get burnt" really does apply here. Initiate self check... Whew ego is still intact, though only barely.

So I stayed home with my geeky self and ordered Pizza, watched TV and episodes of the X-Files, then surfed the web for pic's of Gillian Anderson – I guess I'm a 1995 geek and a sucker for fringe pop culture. So cliché generation X its sickening.

Hey wait a minute, stop trying to Pigion-hole me and tell me what is cool and get off my back man I don't care what you think. I'm going to start a pop/punk/emo band so that I can express my fustration. Yeah that'd be original and not clichéd at all.