Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Life sux... Get over it...

It's been a crap fortnight or so.

1. Lost significant other
2. Complications with ex landlord
3. Chased by muggers in Brixton
4. Seychelles trip cancelled
5. Homeless
6. Fractured a bone

I thought things were supposed to come in threes, not groups of threes...


<*Update*>

7. Found out parents have separated, It just doesn't end...

/<*Update*>

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The end of the golden weather?

With cricket season coming to a close my thoughts navigate towards the impending winter and reflect on the summer that never really was. Thanks England, thanks a whole f*ckin lot.

Like all dark tales of tragedy and despair, this summer has but one bright light, one golden glow at the end of the tunnel, indeed one last tiny sparkle. Ladies and Gentleman may I present *drum roll please* The cricket tour to the Seychelles! *insert trumpets here*.

28th September 16.00 hrs GMT: Ben mutters under his breath words to the effect of "So long suckers!" to his beleaguered work colleagues.

28th September 21.05 hrs GMT: Ben scowls in the general direction of London as the plane takes off bound for fairer shores.

29th September 10.15 hrs GMT+4: Exiting the plane, basking in glorious sunshine, Ben sets about developing his taste for the local beer.

The end of the golden weather? No, this is just the beginning.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Ben (1) Diabetes (nil)

After a recent panic caused by a week long insatiable thirst I have decided that I am not in fact diabetic, just extra thirsty. Its probably the overload of air conditioning that I can't live with or without as things finally warm up over here in crazy town.

When I say warm up, I really mean its a bit warmer than it was in the winter. Most days of course I work so its not a problem, however considering my recent successful foray in to a cricket club, the weather has become that incy wincy bit more important, at least on the weekends. As Thursday rolls around I can't help browsing the BBC website for weather predictions for the coming weekend. I don't know why I bother, this is gloomy England after all.

So in search of better cricket playing weather, the bold decision has been made to sucker up to people with money to fund an all expenses paid trip to the Seychelles, for get this... cricket!! In case you don't realise the Seychelles are those little tiny islands somewhere off the coast of east Africa and the national Seychellean cricket team is apparently in need of opposition! I know I'm up for the job, but we'll have to wait and see how it all pans out.

Meanwhile back in the real world, work, office life, the daily grind, another day another dollar etc. etc. Work on the whole is going pretty well, the supply of free soft drinks in the staff fridge never appears to dwindle, there is always enough bar tab for a third pint at Friday drinks, and now there is almost enough people in the company to necessitate birthday cake every day for everyone. Everthing else that doesn't fit in to the soft drinks, beer, and cake category can be neatly summed up by Dilbert cartoons so there really isn't much else to say.

I hope you are all well, please send food parcels I'm desperate for some L&P, 2 minute noodles, and anything Watties.


Cheerio

Friday, April 20, 2007

Island in the Sun: Grenada, the spicy one.

As jealous laser eyes slowly bored holes in the back of my head, the little clock in the bottom right corner of my screen clicked over to 17.30

I stood up, smile beaming "see ya in a few weeks guys". My work mates muted responses were understandable; they weren't the ones leaving the gloomy confines of London, they weren't the ones who in about 20 hours time would be sipping the Caribbeans finest on a beautiful white sandy beach. No, they were the ones that would be getting up at some ungodly hour to commute to work in an overcrowded tube shoved up under some guys smelly arm pit...

Yes, its good to be me.

I arrived in Grenada halted only slightly by immigration to a rousing display of affection from eternal good mates Guy and Tony, a beer later and the sweat and jet lag kicked in.
The cricket was pretty run of the mill to be honest, but Grenada more than made up for that. Try to imagine a morning swim in the ocean followed by the Grenadian fresh fish breakfast, a Carib (beer), and sitting at a bar so close to the water you had sand at your feet.

A memorable afternoon was spent wandering the markets and knocking back a few bottles of Carib and having a good old yarn with Guy and the infamous one (new-found friend Lance). Grenada is a place with the kind of heat that made you thristy, really thirsty, this had the uncommon effect of making each cold beer just as refreshing as the last, needless to say, but we had many refreshing beers that afternoon.

Between swimming, beer drinking, and cricket we found time to have an evening out at a resturant followed by a night out at a club called Fantasia. Tony and I cut up the dance floor as only we can. Around 3am that night, Tony's snoring reached 747 levels and Guy and I decided to have yet another beer on the beach. Waking up hours later I prodded Guy awake, we dusted off the sand and headed back, assuming the spoon formation and slept like babies.

Grenada, you spicy Island you. I will return...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The hot girl from work...

The weather has been rather cold and miserable lately, so it was with a nice surprise that I sat down on the loo at work in the morning, paper in hand, to discover that the seat was pleasantly warm. It was only near the end of my turgid visit that I pondered who it was that took the time to part with their hard earned body heat to increase my comfort? I smiled as I imagined the taut bottom of the hot girl from upstairs...

As I dried my hands meticulously using the fancy yet ecologically unsound paper towels, three things sprung to mind; this is a toilet, and a male toilet at that, AND I passed the office fat-guy on the way in... Watching the mirror curiously, I saw a young man's smile fade...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I hope all is well in Hammersmith...

...said a friend of mine

My life is like playing poker and always getting the "Ace Of Spades". Drinking alcohol, trying to "Stay Clean" in the "Metropolis" that is "The Hammer". Fell off but got back up on the "Iron Horse / Born To Lose". Living in a middle class area but I got "No Class" because I don't wannabe "Overkill". Fortunately "(We Are) The Road Crew" are cool though one is a "Capricorn". Paranoid like everyone about tube suicide "Bomber"[s]. Just wish I could go to the Apollo for "Motorhead (live)"...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Laughing my ass off...

"You know what's getting really tedious? All these time travelers. It seems like two weeks don't go by without some jerk with a time belt and a bad attitude blinking into my living room and trying to zap me into molecules, usually right in the middle of House."

Rest of article here.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

It's my country's party and I'll drink if I want to...

In a fantastic return to form, I've started drinking heavily again and the world has become a better place.

So begins the famous Waitangi day circle line pub crawl. It was a mission to end all missions and it would be undertaken by approximately nine thousand cold and home sick expatriate Kiwis, and I was one of them.

I arrived among throngs of silver fern clad Kiwis at Paddington tube station to the sight of the Kiwi, the sound of the Maori strum, the taste and smell of beer, and the feel of fellow Kiwi's up close and personal in the cramped but festive circle line tube. Simply put, All five senses were buzzing.

Due to thebeereffect motor control steadily declined among us all and the "no sitting and no holding on while riding the tube" rule became steadily more fun. Akin to the concept of antipodean dating, i.e excessive beer equals chatting up which in turn equals score; add a moving train to the mix and everyone has ample excuse for the odd tender caress.

The circle line tube, notorious for its unreliability, subsequently shut down. Fortunately yet uncharacteristically for the UK, the weather matched our sunny dispostion. As we merrily wandered along in the sunshine through a rather affluent area of London, the locals looked on confused as to why thousands upon thousands of singing silver fern-clad revellers wandered through their usually quiet streets.

Conner Parker decked out in NZ flags

[English accent] "Erm you're all off to a sporting event are ya?"

"uh yeah"

[English accent] "oh who's playing"

"um we all are"

[English accent] "eh?"

Ahh the English, don't they know that a pub crawl IS a sporting event?

As the Big Ben clock struck 4pm the Haka shook the halls of Westminster and the Kiwis dispersed back to their usual hang outs in and around west London.

Quite a day really...
here is what I was up to last year and here are some photos.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

It's kinda cold over here...

So here is the view from my bedroom window of the light dusting of snow we received...


View from my bedroom window, it snowed!
Also here is some views from inside the house:

Living room
Kitchen Some more photos taken in Jan can be found here:

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Stupidity etc.

I don't normally bother to comment on such things here because its not really in the fun loving nature of this website but this made me scared and laugh at the same time:

"FEDERAL WAY, Wash. — The school board in this suburb south of Seattle has restricted showings of Al Gore's movie on global warming, including requiring that it be balanced with an adequate opposing viewpoint".


"The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is," Hardison told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. "The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."

The rest of the article can be found
here:

All I can manage is to shake my head and wonder what's the damn point...

As a side note, I have noticed that the fun loving nature of this website has been lacking a bit perhaps living and working in the UK has made me more cynical?