Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sport was the winner on the day.

Super 14 rugby has really kicked off with three wins on the trot to the mighty Hurricanes; this makes me happy because I put $20 on them to win the competition. Andy thinks the Chiefs will win, however Andy is a very sadly mistaken Englishman. In fact its mistakes like this that cost the English the Empire and Andy is proof that to this day they still haven't learned a thing.

Speaking of the English, they got spanked by Scotland; I imagine this makes Sion very happy.

In cricketing news, the Black Caps also continued their dominating form verses the West Indies, kudos to Nathan Astle for the ton and the catch that will probably be shown on countless replay reels in cricket playing countries. In other news I’m going to Jamaica for the world cup in March 2007, Tony and Guy you better start saving.

Right, I promise that is all I’ll say about sport.

Not to be over-shadowed it was Lauren's birthday, yes THAT Lauren. I was introduced to her father as THAT Ben - both of our reputations apparently precede us. She turned 26 I think, I'm not sure I was rather intoxicated. A load of people went to Cafe Istanbul, the food I got was really quite crap, lets rename it Cafe Load-of-Bull, good, now I feel better. Fortunately there was plenty of alcohol to drink so our spirits were high.

Following dinner we wandered around and eventually found ourselves at Chow, Rebecca and I chatted at length about things I can't remember and Lauren played the drunken birthday girl and got drunk and went home early.

And that’s about it…

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Good Vibrations.

So it’s Friday again, and I make the trek from the valley to the city as I always do, (I get around) meeting up with G as I always do, with the intention to have a few drinks, as we always do. So far so good.

Suddenly something incredibly lucky happened, we stumbled across a restaurant named 'Luckys', and to be honest it’s rather lucky we did. A fantastically good value meal was consumed, people we knew came up to us and said hello and we formulated our plans for the evening.

Guy's friend was having a flat-warming so we hit the New World with the intention to pick up a six-pack to share. "What a stupid idea that was," we say as we eventually pick up a dozen Speights. We're buzzing as the evening is feeling very promising.

Guy's friend Kim lives up on the hill and Guy takes a wrong turn so we climb higher than we need to, but that’s okay because it just made the beer we were carrying taste better when we finally got there. The conversation is good natured and very friendly, laughs all round basically. Guy joins a cricket team - the fact that he has never bowled or batted using a real cricket ball, let alone actually donned pads and gloves doesn't matter apparently, awesome, my kind of team. (Fun, Fun, Fun).

Kim, Dana, Guy and I hit the Cavern Club. The staff recognise us and give us business cards and a discount card for the Curry place next door, (see valentines day entry) how very friendly of them. Guy says “Surprise me,” when it’s my round so of course I get Margarita's. (Kokomo).

Once we're all suitably intoxicated, one of the girls asks "Can you guys dance", Guys response to that made me laugh, "Not me, but Ben has been known to dabble". Well with an introduction like that its all on. We request a few suitable songs and the bar staff are willing. The retro surroundings make it easy for us to think we have some rat-pack cool, we're so money and we don't even know it. (Good Vibrations)

The next morning I'm in the neighbourhood so I text Amy and she’s keen for some brunch after piking on us last night, her flatmates give me coffee and apple juice which is significant as I am nursing quite a hang-over. (Help me Rhonda)

After some food the hang-over wanes away and its time to think about all things cricket as today the mighty Black Caps are playing the Calypso Kings! I.e. the West Indies. As I am completely unprepared for the day due to not going home last night I wander in to the Warehouse and find myself a very sensible hat for a very sensible price, how very sensible of me.

I meet up with Guy and Richard who are having lunch at the Occidental, they drink beer, I drink water. We meet up with Belinda and Tania at the cricket and Tania goes gaga (more than usual) over Nathan Astle cause he gets a solid 90 runs and the Calypso Kings turn in to the Collapse-o Kings and the Black Caps clean up.

I'm exhausted and in dream world by 12am. (Sloop John B)


Sorry I was listening the the Beach boys as I wrote this.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Valentines for Single People...

Considering that I believe Valentines day is a total crock, I sure celebrated it romantically.

I hear you asking "How so Ben? you're currently a single man!" my answer to you is as follows:

7.59am:
(TXT to Guy) - Hey bro, i'm @ a conference today that finishes at 5, if u don't have a valentine already do u want 2 have a drink after work? ;-)

8.02am:
(TXT to Ben) - Sounds good bro. I have just the place in mind 4 a drink. Meet me @ 530pm outside jet.

8.03am:
(TXT to Guy) - Awesome, Can do.

4.59pm:
(TXT to Guy) - I finished early where are you?

At this point I meet up with my workmate Rebecca on the street and invite her along.

5.28pm:
(TXT to Ben) - You finished early, i finished late. I will see you in 15.

Rebecca and I have a few drinks with her auntie at Jet, Guy turns up then the three of us go to this place called the 'Cavern Bar'. It has a cool Elvis/Buddy Holly/Stairway to Heaven theme thing going on - its pretty cool and the bar chick has a huge set of personalities.

Rebecca encourages us to visit the ladies toilet because there is a hilarious poster on the wall or something, surprisingly Guy has far more guts than I do and he spends a good thirty seconds in the forbidden grotto, where as I only manage a pussy ten seconds before the society’s conventions embarrassingly cause me to panic and run out of there without having taken in the full implications of the hilarious poster, to this day I am mocked.

I’m hungry, we can’t decide where to go so we set off in search of food arriving thrity seconds later next door to eat Curry cause the sign outside says “Valentines Special, Free Champagne for all Diners”. We’re appalled at the Indians running the joint so blatantly appealing to the Kiwi drinking culture, but so totally sold on the idea. The meal was fantastic, service good and the conversation better.

By the time 8.30pm rolled around we were three very happy Valentines. Rebecca and I trundled off to catch the train home seeing some quite serious (Valentine style) face munching. Now I’m not afraid of PDA, but this was ridiculous! Seriously woman did you lose something down his throat? It was kind of like a car wreck, you look away but the horror is all too intriguing. Twenty minutes of “face munching” related one-liners follow and make for a hilarious ride home, awesome...

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Wind Tunnel Faux Pas

Yes it was that time of the year again, Saturday night was the work awards evening. You may have guessed from the title that perhaps there were a few unwritten social rules that were broken... and you'd have guessed right.

You would think that surely by now, breaking those rules is so common-place at work functions across the country that someone is literally expected to commit the odd faux pas so that everyone can actually have fun and have something scandalous to talk about over the water cooler the next Monday morning! In my humble opinion, staff morale should hit new highs for months at the cost of a small decrease in productivity for a short time.

It’s a pity that not all faux pas are created equal. Imitating your manager’s patented “wind tunnel” hair style is funny when the joke is kept to the right people. Likewise the office hot-chick wearing tiny hot-pants to the “black-tie” dinner is certainly funny. Mores the pity that she was inevitably asked to leave; fortunately the picturesque image of those hot pants walking up stairs will certainly live on in memory! Mmm… ahhhh… um anyway, I digress, what was my point again? Oh yes, getting violently drunk and abusing people is certainly not funny and will live on in memory but in a strongly negative way, and that was what the odd person did, not that it ruined the night for me or anything but I know certain people that will never ever get promoted because of their behaviour in social situations.

In conclusion, no, I didn’t win any awards, but the food was great the drinks were on the house and I got away with my drunken faux pas because; while I drink to excess, I also know where my limit is. Yes I pulled off the “wind tunnel” joke successfully for the second year in a row, but kept it to the right people. Yes I danced with my manager, but at a safe one metre distance. Yes I tried to order drinks off another manager that I hadn’t met yet thinking he was one of the waiting staff, but was thankfully rescued by a colleague. Yes I got a hold of someone’s video camera and zoomed in on the ample bosom on display, but I didn’t film myself. Yes I thought about doing things with colleagues that involved a party in the orifice and I’m invited, but I remembered what they look like without the beer goggles.

This ladies and Gentlemen is my lesson on how to enjoy your self at a work function and not get fired, have a nice day.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Google is more scary than your mum...

So I thought to myself, I wonder what happens if I search for myself on Google, as I expected there is a gazillion "Bens" in the world so I decided to search under the most common pseudonym that I use during my travels on the web. My first response went something like this "Oh my F-ING GOD!" Two pages of Google results and every click pointed to something that I've done whether it be an old forum post somewhere, an online auction I bid on, this blog, hell! Even my seti@home results are there for the world to see!

My second response went something like this "Oh my F-ING GOD! There is no such thing as privacy".

My online life, right there for anyone to see or browse through with the right search term, that's scary as hell man!

My third respose went something like this “I have to get some more (and preferably common) pseudonyms pronto!”

Monday, February 06, 2006

The birth of our wonderful nation...

"Waitangi Day commemorates the signing of a treaty at Waitangi on 6 February 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government, represented by Lieutenant-Governor Hobson. The question of what obligations the Treaty of Waitangi placed on each side has been a subject of contention ever since".

"A private member's bill on a New Zealand Day had been introduced by Matiu Rata in 1971 and, during debate on the new bill, Rata, now Minister of Maori Affairs, indicated the government's intentions: The day, he said, was to be neither 'a symbolic nor religious occasion' but a day for each New Zealander to enjoy as they saw fit." -
more here.

So how did you celebrate? Guy and I had an adventure and travelled to Porirua (or P-Town - as Guy refers to it) and played a round of pirate themed mini golf. Awesome. Incidentally Guy narrowly lost by one shot. But Waitangi day was... well... the real winner on the day. The sun was shining, the people were smiling and the 14th Festival of the Elements at Te Rauparaha Park featuring art, crafts, song and dance was on. The treaty bus was there too, it was full of knowledgeable signs and as you all know I have a certain fondness for reading such signs, pity there was no where for a "good sit" to contemplate the knowledge I had just gained.

We visited "The Realm Haitaitai" - surely you've heard the annoying jingle. We then had a few more beers in town. It was the perfect way to enjoy the day as it was originally intended - "as [we] saw fit".

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Life is transient...

Friday it was Nick's birthday so we had a BBQ and sung Karaoke - well I did, most people just wailed, but then again I was rather intoxicated so I probably just wailed too, but don't tell my ego. I'm a male and male egos are delicate. My version of Adam Sandlers Medium Pace was quite memorable if I do say so myself. Sweet ego is now good, lets carry on.

The parentals are away camping - they're such cliché baby boomers it’s sickening. So inevitably I'm looking after the farm, crap I forgot to feed the hens, no mater I'm sure they'll kill a pigeon or something if they get really hungry.

Saturday (Sevens night) was a huge night on the town, so I hear. I was just not feeling it so despite several invites (including one from my dubious Chinese friends) I stayed home - partly out of fear but mostly cause I just wasn't feeling it ok! Can't believe I keep turning down two women that, dare I say it Dave, are totally spin-able.

I know I'm an idiot but as most of you know the old adage "If you play with fire you get burnt" really does apply here. Initiate self check... Whew ego is still intact, though only barely.

So I stayed home with my geeky self and ordered Pizza, watched TV and episodes of the X-Files, then surfed the web for pic's of Gillian Anderson – I guess I'm a 1995 geek and a sucker for fringe pop culture. So cliché generation X its sickening.


Hey wait a minute, stop trying to Pigion-hole me and tell me what is cool and get off my back man I don't care what you think. I'm going to start a pop/punk/emo band so that I can express my fustration. Yeah that'd be original and not clichéd at all.