Obligatory Superlatives in the South Island of NZ

Leaving behind the bright blue sky to be swallowed by the Bluebridge ferry did little to dampen the spirits because within minutes of leaving the car in the belly of the ship our view from the ship’s bar was clear and we were already one beer in to the trip. Next stop Picton!

The waterfront in Picton was at its usual picturesque best, so with a bellyful of fish ‘n’ chips, shoes and socks were discarded allowing the calm and cool waters of the Marlborough sounds to gently lap around our sweltering feet. Once satisfied, it was onward to Nelson.

Sunny Nelson greeted us with an evening swim and an impressively photogenic sunset while motel owner Mark attempted to bamboozle us with his wheeling dealing accommodation deals. A few beers plus nachos polished off our night.

Under 35+ degree heat we made for Motueka – it was time to test our mettle in the age old Man vs. Gravity challenge! We were going skydiving! As predicted the first 45 seconds from jumping out of the plane Gravity was in complete control, Man had reached terminal velocity and was hurtling to certain death – but then, upon deploying the parachute Man began to fight back – for the next five minutes Gravity did its utmost to upset Man’s descent but it was Man who ultimately won the day suffering nothing more than mild nausea, fist pumps, and obligatory superlatives. Man had landed safely from whence he came. IN YOUR FACE GRAVITY!

Once the superlatives’ had all been spoken we  pushed on and with ice-cream in hand traversed the Motueka Valley Highway, pausing only in Reefton to fetch the Service Station owner off the golf course so we could fill the tanks enough to make it to Greymouth. Our meal at The Hong Kong Restaurant was polished off with a warm tin of Ranfurly Draught. There’s simply nothinglike a cheap meal and a crap beer to make you feel young again!

The following morning the world famous in New Zealand Monteiths brewery reminded us that all that beer is equal, but some beer is more equal than others. A sophisticated look at a brewery allowed us to see how far our beer drinking palettes have come since our Ranfurly Draught drinking student days. 

Fox Glacier was as huge and impressive as ever; and despite a brief dalliance beyond the safety ropes we survived and are still here to tell the tail. Later that afternoon we hit the Haast pass visitor centre where some intensive study on the surrounding rain forest took place, oh, and we saw this sweet Eel too! After some white bait fritters on bread for lunch we swam – or more accurately – got pounded by the waves at Haast beach – once refreshed we made our way towards Wanaka.

In order to break up the drive to Wanaka along the Haast Pass highway, we stopped at a rest area and undertook what was supposed to be a pleasant 30 minute return bush walk – what actually happened was quite different – it was a 20 minute dash through sand-fly territory – particularly perilous was the rope bridge where one simply could not spare a hand to swat away the marauding blood suckers. Still, what doesn’t kill you… 

The backpackers in Wanaka was holding a BBQ for the paltry price of $6 which included a two for one drink deal. Not only was this to our liking, it was just what we needed. A good five or six hours of drinking followed – just enough for us to really feel the effects while kayaking LakeWanaka in the stinking heat the morning after. 

The journey to Dunedin was largely uneventful although several rouge Riders of Rohan were claimed to have been spotted. We ate Thai food, coffee, dessert, and then proceeded to play games of pool before settling down on couches/floors of old friends for the night. The DunedinMuseum live butterfly exhibit occupied most of the next day before we hit Christchurch later in the evening.

Christchurch was a bit disappointing – but what do you expect from a city largely founded by the English, so we ploughed northwards sighting such wonders as the Kaikoura seal colony before setting up camp early evening in Blenheim. In contradiction to our basic camp ground accommodation, an extravagant dinner at an Italian Restaurant was devoured and enjoyed. 

Waking up with sore bodies due to minimal cushioning the night before did not depress us for today was the day of the Marlborough Wine, Food, and Music Festival! Needless to say, much wine was tasted, food eaten and music danced to. Happy times.

But the trip would not go down in history as being complete just yet, oh no, not without a game of Mini-Golf! So before boarding the ferry back to Wellington, nine holes were completed with victors victorious and defeatists defeated.

The End

The good times just don't stop rolling...

Went out for dinner at Chow with the folks on Friday night, food wasn’t too bad…

On Saturday it was my pleasure to be invited to what I will refer to as “Ben’s big day out”. After meeting some mates at Wellington train station we then set off to Porirua or what I will here-in refer to as “P-town”.

The weather in P-town was fantastic and this was very much a good thing as we were here for the very serious and competitive business that is Pirates Cove mini-golf. The game itself was less important than the fact that mini-golf was one of the things that I had to do before I left in case there doesn’t happen to be a course where I’m going, they’ve heard of mini-golf in Europe right? ;-)

Everyone made a credible job of throwing the game so that I could have the fairytale finish that I always wanted, this was much appreciated!

Following golf we found ourselves at Ban Mai Thai café for dinner. Spelling mistakes in the menu aside, Jared tells me the Roated Duck is pretty good.



We migrated to The Matterhorn for cocktails, the band playing was very funky, I would’ve danced or what will herein be referred to as “bipedal locomotion”, but there wasn’t much room with all the tables on the dance floor or what will herein be referred to as the “D-floor”.



Moving on to the Cavern club the D-floor was utilised for a bit of bipedal locomotion but we mostly just sat and drank in the comfy couches.



A quick visit to the Establishment signalled that it was home time. I arrived home via bus about 5.30am and promptly fell asleep dreaming of attractive women bipedaly locomoting on my D-floor.

Check out the rest of the photos here

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The birth of our wonderful nation...

"Waitangi Day commemorates the signing of a treaty at Waitangi on 6 February 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government, represented by Lieutenant-Governor Hobson. The question of what obligations the Treaty of Waitangi placed on each side has been a subject of contention ever since".

"A private member's bill on a New Zealand Day had been introduced by Matiu Rata in 1971 and, during debate on the new bill, Rata, now Minister of Maori Affairs, indicated the government's intentions: The day, he said, was to be neither 'a symbolic nor religious occasion' but a day for each New Zealander to enjoy as they saw fit." - more here.

So how did you celebrate? Guy and I had an adventure and travelled to Porirua (or P-Town - as Guy refers to it) and played a round of pirate themed mini golf. Awesome. Incidentally Guy narrowly lost by one shot. But Waitangi day was... well... the real winner on the day. The sun was shining, the people were smiling and the 14th Festival of the Elements at Te Rauparaha Park featuring art, crafts, song and dance was on. The treaty bus was there too, it was full of knowledgeable signs and as you all know I have a certain fondness for reading such signs, pity there was no where for a "good sit" to contemplate the knowledge I had just gained.

We visited "The Realm Haitaitai" - surely you've heard the annoying jingle. We then had a few more beers in town. It was the perfect way to enjoy the day as it was originally intended - "as [we] saw fit".