The Wind Tunnel Faux Pas

Yes it was that time of the year again, Saturday night was the work awards evening. You may have guessed from the title that perhaps there were a few unwritten social rules that were broken... and you'd have guessed right.

You would think that surely by now, breaking those rules is so common-place at work functions across the country that someone is literally expected to commit the odd faux pas so that everyone can actually have fun and have something scandalous to talk about over the water cooler the next Monday morning! In my humble opinion, staff morale should hit new highs for months at the cost of a small decrease in productivity for a short time.

It’s a pity that not all faux pas are created equal. Imitating your manager’s patented “wind tunnel” hair style is funny when the joke is kept to the right people. Likewise the office hot-chick wearing tiny hot-pants to the “black-tie” dinner is certainly funny. Mores the pity that she was inevitably asked to leave; fortunately the picturesque image of those hot pants walking up stairs will certainly live on in memory! Mmm… ahhhh… um anyway, I digress, what was my point again? Oh yes, getting violently drunk and abusing people is certainly not funny and will live on in memory but in a strongly negative way, and that was what the odd person did, not that it ruined the night for me or anything but I know certain people that will never ever get promoted because of their behaviour in social situations.

In conclusion, no, I didn’t win any awards, but the food was great the drinks were on the house and I got away with my drunken faux pas because; while I drink to excess, I also know where my limit is. Yes I pulled off the “wind tunnel” joke successfully for the second year in a row, but kept it to the right people. Yes I danced with my manager, but at a safe one metre distance. Yes I tried to order drinks off another manager that I hadn’t met yet thinking he was one of the waiting staff, but was thankfully rescued by a colleague. Yes I got a hold of someone’s video camera and zoomed in on the ample bosom on display, but I didn’t film myself. Yes I thought about doing things with colleagues that involved a party in the orifice and I’m invited, but I remembered what they look like without the beer goggles.

This ladies and Gentlemen is my lesson on how to enjoy your self at a work function and not get fired, have a nice day.