Prague: City of Sexy Danger...

Like lonely planet says the night trains to Prague are for hardened travellers only. I catch the train with Scott the Aussie and we are with two Irish rugby players that are absolutely slaughtered and not finished drinking yet. One of them begins to freak out so badly that he hurls his clothes from the window of the moving train and decides that he wants to fight someone.

Cue Czech border guards who inform the Irish that there is no drinking on this train to which they reply, but we're Irish as if the Czech can understand. At this point 'naked Irish freaking out guy' gets the fight he wanted and the Czech border guards in their best broken English subdue him... oh and the gun pointing and punch in the face help too.

At this point using a Czech phrase I prepared earlier for such an occurrence I inform the Czech boarder guards that I'm not with them and flash that beautiful beautiful thing that is the New Zealand passport. This gets me and the Aussie out of the room and in to the next cabin where upon we spend the next two hours listening to the Irish get their bags and by the sounds of it, cavities searched.

After a eleven hour train journey that would've only taken nine hours I arrive in Prague exhausted with no accommodation at the busiest time of the year. Fortunately it only takes one hour to find a place. Note to all, never stay at a place called Golden Sickle or Golden Shit-hole as it shall now be known.

Prague itself is beautiful, the history and architecture blows me away. Just walking through the cobbled streets is pleasure and the famous Charles bridge lives up to expectation. Its a shame I ran out of batteries or I would've taken more pictures really.

I get some top shelf Czech vodka for about $12 NZD and polish it off with two American women from New Jersey. We get hammered and hit a massive club with 6 floors of all different kinds of music, The girls (Nicole and Anthea) proceed to pole dance often with me as the pole. Nicole decides that it is her duty to show me exactly what American, specifically "Jersey girls" can do and dirty dirty dancing ensues. Tourists and locals aghast but I'm hammered so I don't give a shit.

Loud porn star style sex follows where moves such as the reverse-cow-girl are flawlessly enacted while in an eight bedded dorm but everyone else was Canadian and therefore ever so polite.

We wander the city and catch some paddle boats on the river for an hour.

To apologise to the Canadians I get some more top shelf vodka and Scott the Aussie and I introduce them to Circle of Death. Three games later everyone is pretty hammered.
The Canadian boys head for the clubs but I'm in the mood to just chill so I go for a wander. On my return Anthea has injured herself while drunk believing that she was on the bottom bunk when in fact she was on the top. There is blood everywhere. I take a look and its just a flesh wound on her toe. Simpson's style calls of "I'll get the Iodine" occur, man I crack myself up. I clean and bandage her up and she promptly falls asleep.

Nicole is keen for more porn star style sex but I'm a bit tired and drunk but I think to myself "That's no excuse" and there is no stopping her anyway. Checking my watch 35 minutes later as I blow my load balls deep in her throat I'm thinking that Prague is awesome and I could really go a kebab right now.

Prauge photos here: