Heidi meets me at the train station which is awesome of her. Even though I rate myself to successfully navigate (i.e. avoid death) around Vienna after visiting once before its still nice to not have to think about that sort of stuff.
Friday afternoon we see the massive palace which for years was the centre of the Austro-Hungarian empire, photos are taken and monuments are looked at.
We spend the afternoon in the sun along the Donau (Danube river) where Heidi unsuccessfully attempts to kill me by taking me to ISLAND OF DEATH!! Well, in all honesty its not actually called "Island of Death" but I guess I just have a habit of naming things in relation to the happenings of the place rather than actually knowing the real name.
So I ask Heidi where her favourite swimming spot is and she points out this seemingly innocuous island a short wade out in to the river. At this point I'm thinking "oh yeah hanging with the locals and going to the best spots..." Little do I realise that after spending 30 seconds walking (not sitting) on this so called paradise that I am covered in killer ants up to my arm pits. Sure they may not have been actual killer ants but the situation was disconcerting enough for me to dive in to the water hoping that these were just the mild form of killer ants rather than the more deadly killer-swimming ants.
The evening is spent hanging with one of Heidi's mates Fiona. Now for those of you who don't know Fiona which I'm guessing is all of you shes the kind of woman that half the time you think shes high on speed and the other half just wonderfully nutty.
Because of language difficulty I think that we're going to visit some guy called Herman until we turn up at an actual bar called Hermann, oh dear imagine my embarrassment. Its turns out to be a faux beach bar with beach deck chairs by the river-side. The bar is rather busy and leading on from my earlier faux pas I loudly but jokingly ask to speak to Herman, the girls thinks its hilarious but at least we get some service. Once we find a seat its turns out to actually be pretty cool.
The second bar was only notable for two reasons, firstly; the waitress taking a fancy to me because of my New Zealand accent, ooh I'm so exotic, and secondly my realisation that Austrian men have no hips and hence can not dance.
Saturday afternoon Heidi and I take buses and trains to the top of this mountain overlooking Vienna and I get paranoid about snakes as I'm not sure if Heidi is joking about their existance or not. I take one photo, hope it turns out cause it was actually a good view. Later on Heidi models a red bikini... Oh um I mean we went swimming, but I mainly spent my afternoon avoiding death, well more specifically, islands of death
In the evening we decide to go see a film festival movie at Kino Unter Sternen or Cinema under the stars. As I don't speak German and Heidi didn't really read the program we have no idea what the movie is until it starts. As the title rolls on screen my exact words are "oh my god this could not be more hilarious and awesome".
Cracking open the beers I brought with me should this exact scenario ever occur we settle down to watch the classic stoner flick, Dazed and Confused... Now Guy Stapleton I know you're jealous!!
By the time the classic "I get older and they stay the same" line occurs I'm quite plastered so of course the line is shouted out loud. Arty film festival types turn, stare, and laugh... hilarious.
Heidi is fortunately sober so we navigate back to her apartment pretty easily where she proceeds to laugh and beat the crap out of me with a pillow, the kill Ben theme continues.
A lazy Sunday afternoon and Heidi takes me to Prater which is a kinda fun-park-fair-ground kinda place. They have roller coasters, ghost trains, go karts but these petty things are not for us oh no. We're here for a gentlemanly competitive game of mini-golf. The course is not really up to the high standard of the courses back home but we have a competitive game all the same. (Well I take Heidi to school but its really how you play the game right? ;-)
Feeling hungry we hit a restaurant called Running Sushi where the food is on conveyor belts that travel between the tables and you can just pick however much you want of whatever you are game enough to try.
To conclude the evening we watch True Lies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Surprisingly, despite Arnie sprechen de Deutch he does not do his own German voice overs!! This small detail actually makes the movie funny.
Heidi goes back to work and I just hang out relishing the chance to relax and not have to worry about anything. The following evening Heidi has to work again so I hang out with Silvia who is Heidi's older sister. We go to the outdoor swimming pool at the palace where literally mens jaws hit the floors as "ever so modest" Silvia reveals just how good she looks in a bikini. As we tire of the pool our thoughts turn to food so Silvia shows me her favourite Italian restaurant where they actually serve the red wine at room tempeture rather than those crazy eastern europeans who drink it chilled.
Leaving Vienna is hard as my hosts have been so gracious but I must soldier on...
Check out the Vienna photos here:
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