It was back to the grind today and it was as busy as your mum. All the corporate monkeys insisted on wishing me a happy new year, it was fun seeing the dejected looks on their faces when they heard my rather lacklustre “Thanks” instead of a cheery “Happy New Year” in return… I love being a cynical bastard!
Speaking of bastards, the wind was blowing like forty of them– as my old man would say. The taxi home barely got above 70km/h on the motorway.
Heres the latest fuck-wit story to come out of work lately:
F-Wit: (In an irate voice) “Hi I just received a call and the caller said they were from the bank, the guy knew everything about my credit card, I just wanted to check if it really was from you guys cause it sounded dodgy” *fair enough I think*
Me: “Sure (I security check him, he passes, I look in to it) yeah it looks like we called you because we were concerned about some out of character transactions on your credit card and it looks like you confirmed that they were your transacti… (he cuts me off)
F-wit: “But how do I know you’re from the bank”
Me: “You called us”
F-Wit: (with a "I'm smarter than you" attitude) “But how do I know if the number I dialled is really the bank?”
Me: “Where did you get the number from?”
F-wit: “Well it’s on my credit card”
(There is silence, as I put him on mute and make a sound like a constipated old man with a low IQ – the corporate monkeys look up and stare)
Me: (overly polite) “Do you have any further questions Sir?”
(Silence)
F-Wit: “Fuck you smart ass” (hangs up)
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